Highly Sensitive Parents.
People don't really get it right away.
"So... you're working with moms...?" or "Parents...oh, it's about parenting!"
Actually, no and...no.
I was raised by a highly sensitive man who was also an amazing father, I've married a highly sensitive man who LOVES being a father and I know many more sensitive men that are parents and hurt when they're not being there for their children. And I feel that these beautiful sensitive men are not being taken seriously. Nobody is helping them become the best person AND the best father they can be. Nobody is recognizing their pain. They are usually working hard at maintaining the image of strong working man when sometimes THEY would like to stay at home and be an awesome father. Or at least have some more balance in their lives so that they can meet all their needs. So, Highly Sensitive PARENTS, because I love the dads just as much as I love the moms and I'm here to help them as well.
And it's not about PARENTING. IT's about the PARENTS. After 16 years of parenting and working with parents and children one-on-one I believe that we can only be good parents from the inside out. It is not all about managing and changing your child's behavior. I cringe when a parent signs up their child for therapy and kind of say: "Fix him". I kindly explain to them that I only work with the child AFTER working with their parents. Some are brave enough and take a dive into the deep end of their inner world. Some, well...don't. And that's totally fine. I bless them and refer them to someone who fits their needs better.
Throughout the years I've seen how people's beliefs about themselves, life and parenting ultimately determine how they show up in life. There is considerable evidence that highly sensitive people benefit more than others from good childhoods. In other words, they are more distressed than non-HSP by the same events in childhood. They apparently ponder these events more deeply. (source: Aron, Psychotherapy and the Highly Sensitive Person). So, those negative beliefs that we're implanted in our subconscious through our upbringing or through society, hurt us more and have more influence in our lives than they would in non-hs parents.
I don't believe in perfect parents. I really think that is one of the main beliefs that keep us stressed out and overwhelmed. We struggle too hard to meet an ideal that just doesn't exist. Parenting is a process of learning and growing as you go. Being strong in your vulnerability. Showing up as yourself, being honest about your mistakes and how you handled them and how you grew. Your child wants the whole you to show up, not the part that we believe to be what he needs.
We usually hear 'your thoughts determine your actions and shape your reality' but I see it differently: Your beliefs determine your thoughts which then shape your actions and reality. We now know that the first 6 years of our child's life determine which beliefs they will continue to enforce for the rest of their lives. The study of epigenetics has even found that our emotions and beliefs actually rewrite our genetic code. YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE.
With Highly Sensitive Parents I intend to create a community for sensitive parents who crave for more 'me' in the parenting equation. As a highly sensitive person I have experienced the challenges sensitivity creates in work and life. As a parent, I have felt overwhelmed, tired and non-existent. The more I have become myself, that person I AM, the happier I have become and the better parent I have been. I'm here to inspire you into embracing and becoming who you are. From creating time, to following your passions: I'm here to guide you in creating a life of flow and balance, so that you as well, can parent with ease. I believe it takes a village to raise a child. I hope to become part of your village.
“We don't have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to.”
― Brené Brown, Rising Strong
I believe I can help you recognize how YOU were shaped by past experiences and beliefs, and how YOU NOW can change those beliefs by using effective self-development and energy management techniques. By changing your beliefs you will be able to be the person you want to be. You will be able to set an example for your child. Because we can only teach our children about what we know to be true. Your truth is your belief system and your experiences. By growing and changing as a parent, you allow your child to grow and change as well.
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."
After you have looked inside yourself, nurtured yourself and are being yourself, THEN you also become aware that your words, your actions and your expressions have a profound effect on your child, which will ultimately impact his of her life. By being aware and centered you can look at your child's behavior from a more centered and non-judgmental place and THEN apply positive parenting tools that have proven to be effective.
I know it's possible, I've lived it and have helped many clients through this process. My soul purpose is to help Highly Sensitive and Gifted people by speaking, writing and teaching, to connect with THEIR passions as they balance all areas of their lives. Let me show you HOW you can also BE the person you want to become.